Ooops

 I forgot to go back and do a post for Friday.  The weather has been great.   I have been doing a puzzle. It is now raining. My hip is starting to feel better. I am a week out from my second vaccine. My granddaughter will soon be one, born during a pandemic.  It really hit me that if I had not been doing her daycare I would not have gotten to hold her in her first year of life.  And while I may be a little tired of changing her diapers, I am infinitely grateful that I had the opportunity. We are planning for my mom's 100th birthday party in June.  She has had her second dose of the vaccine!  I feel like my family made it through the pandemic.

So, that is my hasty this and that post before I head off to be daycare for  my grandchildren.  I hope we all have a great day!

This and That

 I have had a lot of random thoughts that don't merit an entire post, but they won't get out of my brain until I say them.

1. Line jumpers.  It seems that everybody I have heard of who has gotten the vaccine this week is a line jumper in one way or another.  A couple of people have signed up and gone to a neighboring state even though they do not live there.  A few people know a person who administers the shot and were invited when there were "extra"  doses to have the vaccine. There have been a few others, but I won't get into their stories.  All of these people are 50 and above and some have health conditions of various kinds.  I don't resent their getting the vaccine.  Their protection protects us all in one way or another.  But, I worry about the people who aren't able to or don't line jump.  Will the turn ever come?  For me, I wish I had a firm appointment.  Even if it were a couple of months from now, if I knew that on May 15 I would get a shot I wouldn't feel so anxious. I just wish there was a clear line to be in.  It doesn't help that my state is dead last in administering the vaccine.

2. Cold weather.  It seems winter has decided to turn nasty.  Not with piles of snow, but cold.  I really hate the cold.  As I often lament, the poor armadillos that are trying to make their way through my state.  It really sets their populations back. (I am not really a fan of the armored creatures, it is a joke.)

3. Birds.  I still have the parakeets.  My breathing has been okay lately.  Maybe I have gotten used to them.  I haven't tamed them yet, so it seems unlikely that I ever will.  They mostly stay in the cage. Perhaps this is mean.  But, the hen tears my blinds apart and the male flies into walls and the ceiling.

4. There is a family member of mine who is expecting a little girl in the summer.  It is a very high risk pregnancy, so I ask for prayers for this little one and her mother.

5. I am doubling up my mask situation.  I made some stylish new ones and plan for some more. I ordered some more medically ones for underneath.  I have decided to embrace the mask.  

6. My new neighborhood friends are honkers.  You know, the kinds of people who drive by and honk at you when you are out walking.  I have never had honking friends before.  I admit to being startled when out walking and someone honks. Then I see that it is Tammy or Margaret and I smile and wave at them.

7. I am finishing up the pandemic quilts that I am making for my grandchildren.  They are Irish chain twin quilts.  I used jellyrolls to speed up the cutting. I didn't really like that method.  But, I like the quilts.  I need to figure out my next big project.  I have a coupe of things from patterns to do and I have to admit I don't really like that either.  I like to create quilts.  Even if they don't turn out lovely, I like to make them start to finish from my imagination.

Quick Takes--Gifts from the Pandemic

 I am tired of the pandemic.  On bad days it makes me depressed and sad.  I lost another friend to COVID on Monday.  She was 5 years older than I am. The pandemic makes me fearful.  I am lonely and I really really miss being in church.  But, even in the midst of all the bad stuff, there is some positive, even if it is just skills I have acquired to live through the pandemic.  The things I have learned are gifts.  Some of them are these---

1. I make a complete grocery list and never go to the grocery store without one.  I start at least a day ahead of the planned shopping trip which is often as early as I can go on Saturday. I never go back to the store if I forget something until the next week.  I have learned not to forget things.

2. I have learned that I used to use shopping as entertainment and a way to forget that I was lonely.  I bought a lot of fabric that I really had no plan for just to have something to do.  Some of it came in handy to make masks.  I hope to find other things besides shopping to occupy my time in that illusive future when I no longer fear the virus.

3. I suddenly treasure the idea of seeing family and friends with greater intensity than I used to have.  I put off visits to friends in the past, but I think in that future time I will visit my friends and family like crazy. I want to see them.  I want to hear how they did through all of this.

4. I might make some changes to my house and get a dog.  A dog would keep me walking and active.  I have always loved dogs and wanted one in my life.  Sometimes I am lazy and selfish and think that having a dog is too much trouble, but the pandemic has taught me that too much trouble is okay sometimes.

5. I like not getting sick.  I haven't had a cold or flu since the pandemic started.  I may continue wearing masks, at least when traveling or going to public events.  I wonder if it will be allowed.

6. I have only very rarely signed petitions or sent letters to my representatives.  I haven't changed that practice during the pandemic, but I am thinking that I may need to send a few letters to a few people.  If I want to see changes, I might need to contribute my thoughts.

7, I have taken up walking during the pandemic. I hope to continue that as long as I am able to put one foot in front of another.  I have come to recognize that throughout my life, walking has been the sport I have engaged in.  I am only competitive with myself, but I really enjoy walking. It took a pandemic to make me aware of how much I really enjoy walking outside in the sunshine, the rain and the snow.

I will quit with 7 although I know that there are more.  I hope, hope, hope that I will be vaccinated and able to attend Mass by Easter.  I always enjoyed going to church, daily Mass, Sunday Mass, Bible study,  I like church.  So, I didn't learn that in the pandemic, but of all the reasons I want the pandemic over, going to Mass is my biggest hope.

Quick Takes

 It seems like a summary might be in order.

1. I am still cutting my own hair in my bathroom.  It doesn't look bad from the front.  The back may be a little choppy, but I can't see it.  I am in a mask when I am out and about so who knows who I am?

2. I am still walking my imaginary dog.  I think about getting a real one.  I have a plan to have a door cut in the garage, and a fence up to that door around the backyard. I think about the kind of dog.  I have allergies so it would be wise to get something I wouldn't be allergic to like a poodle.  It is hard to find those in rescue.

3. I have not been to Mass for a while.  When I watch online I see a man without a mask from time to time.  Maybe he has already had the virus?  But maybe not. I wish they would not sing.  I look forward to the day when I can go back to Mass.

4. I still have 2 parakeets.  I am still allergic to them.  I often avoid being in the same room with them.  I have not tamed them.  I give them the best life I can, but if I could find a better home for them, I would give them away.  But, I tend to stay in things, it takes me a long time to admit defeat.  So, Abu and Achoo and I are still with each other.

5. I am so thankful the election is over. I pray that our nation can heal. Love is the answer, not hate. love is the answer.

6. I have nearly finished 2 twin quilts.  I am calling them my pandemic quilts for my grandchildren.  They are Irish chains (the quilts, not the grandchildren).  

7. I sponsor a child in Guatemala.  I, of course, haven't heard from her yet since the hurricane went through Guatemala.  I pray for her and her family.  I wish I could help more, but I am just one person.  I pray.

Quick Takes

 Although I don't link to the Quick Takes anymore, I still appreciate the concept of doing a catch up post. So here are my Quick Takes.

1. I still walk my imaginary dog around the neighborhood. I have considered and reconsidered whether I want to get a real dog and how I would do it.  I would probably have a door put in my garage and a fence around the backyard as the first step.  I would need some way to let the dog out from time to time. Even though a fence and door might be pricey, they would be cheaper than moving. I have considered breeds.  I know someone who knows someone who fosters Cavalier King Charles Spaniels and they would be a good size for a dog.  But, I really like poodles. Or I could try to find a mutt.  But, first a fence and a door.

2. I am looking for a way to not be so involved in my grandchildren's care.  I find that I have less energy and more aches and pains.  Watching them is more than a full time job.  I wanted to help them never to go to daycare while they were little, but really, that isn't my call.

3. I still have the birds (parakeets).  I continue to buy things for the birds.  I continue to suffer sinus issues because of the birds.  I have not hand tamed them.  I can't stand to be that close to them for long enough. I try to let them out to fly around the house at least once a week.  The parakeet Facebook group makes me feel very guilty for my relationship with these birds, but when I take the guilt trips out of the mix, I think I am providing a good home for the little budgies. They have food and water and toys and each other. I keep them clean and warm.

4. Last Sunday I saw a flock of large migrating birds high up in the sky.  I think that they may have been pelicans.  I have seen flocks of pelicans migrating before.  I live near the Missouri River and it is a flyway for them. Watching a flock of birds like that is amazing. They circled around and stayed together.  I watched them make several turns.  Maybe they were looking for a place to spend the night.

5. Lately there have been a lot of flyers for missing cats in my neighborhood.  Indoor/ outdoor cats really aren't safe.  There is a pack of coyotes that lives down in the woods at the end of my street.  I have seen at least three of them together. When sirens go off I can hear the howling. Personally, I wish they would get the rabbits that continue to eat almost every flower that I plant.  Anyway, I have a theory about where the cats are going.

6.  I have been praying Lectio Divina for a year now. It has become a habit. God has really talked to me and shown me things.  Some things I have to be told over and over again.  Maybe someday I will get it and learn something new.

7.  When I consider so much of the world during this pandemic I have tears of gratitude for my blessings.  I have a warm house, food and clean water. I have family and friends and the ability to Zoom with them. I have two beautiful grandchildren and I can see and hug them. I can go to church via the internet. I have a vote, a voice. I am blessed.

Quick Takes

Last week I didn't end up posting on Friday.  I thought that I would do quick takes, but I ended up too tired, depressed, and busy to post anything on Friday. 

I would have posted that my grand daughter and I are still at odds.  I am starting to figure things out.  I end up being a part time caregiver because her mom still breast feeds her throughout the day, wears her in a tight baby carrier after no one has been able to calm her down, and tells me things I should do after the fact.  This little 5 month old is not an easy baby.  It is possible that she would have never settled down to daycare.  I love the close relationship between mother and daughter, but I hate the stress that my care is causing.  It seems to me that we have several options.  One would be that mom take a leave of absence from her job until this baby is a little older.  Another would be that mom stops breastfeeding during the day and pumps or gives formula to me to feed her.  Or perhaps mom could stop wearing the baby.  She says that it is the only thing that soothes the baby, but if that is the case, then what am I supposed to do?  If anyone is capable of calming the baby not being worn, it would be the mom. If we were not in a pandemic, I would quit.  Being screamed at for seemingly hours by a child I love is more stressful than I signed up for.

After the tax situation, the jury duty situation, and the tooth crown situation were resolved in less than a week I recognized how much I rely on anxiety to motivate me.  This is a problem.  I don't have a solution, but I am aware that recognizing a problem is the first step to solving it.

Sadly, my house really needs to be cleaned and organized and I have neither the motivation nor the ability to figure out what to do first. One right step and then another.  That is all I can do.

I had a four day weekend this week.  It would have been a great time to go to Chicago and visit a friend, but the pandemic. Or Champaign, IL and visit a friend, but the pandemic. Or to have visited.....but the pandemic. I heard someone say that the pandemic doesn't mean we can't have fun, do something fun, that we just need to plan for safe fun....so I am trying to figure out what that is. 

Quick Takes

 Still having problems with the IRS.  Still called for jury duty as far as I know. Have a dental visit scheduled at the same time as jury duty.  New dentist, expect to need work.  My old dentist retired.  He was a new dentist when I started with him in the 1990s. How quickly time flies.

My sister has been in contact with a distant cousin.  Her family information rounded out some of the things we already knew.  Since this cousin has lived her whole life in South Africa it is remarkable that we found each other.  And no, it isn't a scam.

I may have mentioned that my granddaughter hates me.  Maybe hate is a strong word, but someone who won't look at you, pushes away with all their might, and screams continually might be considered to hate one.  She will get over it.

I got an orange calculator for my grandson to play with.  He loved it.  He played with it.  It is now lost somewhere in my house.  I have looked and looked.  Says a lot about my housekeeping.

The air purifier I got to help me with the budgies isn't working right.  It may just need new filters, but those things are expensive.  They stopped molting and I was doing better, but my sinuses are acting up again.  I am thinking that I would like to rehome the birds, but I am a chicken.  And I would miss them a bit.  My betta fish died.  I would be petless.

I am writing this Thursday night when I should be sleeping because I have been behind all week.  I am hoping to catch up on the weekend.

Takes, Quick

I am still on the fence about my parakeets.  I think they are bothering my sinuses.  I think they are bothering my breathing. The endless molting is getting on my nerves.  It has been 6 weeks now with only one of the birds.  I can't wait for the other one.  The molting seems to be one of the things that bothers my breathing.  But, I really like breathing. I like birds, but so far I am not in love.

Still, if I get rid of the birds, it is back to the silence.  Back to the alone-ness. Isolation. I know that is not a good look on me.  It makes me depressed.  I consider alternatives.  A dog is the one I would like.  I know someone who knows someone who rescues Cavalier King Charles Spaniels and has one available. I wonder how hypo-allergenic those dogs are?  I wonder if I would be approved for adoption?  I lack a fenced yard.  That would be an expense. And I am old and lazy.  The dog would have to like my grandchildren.  Something to consider.

Somebody disagreed with me in a Zoom meeting last week and suddenly several other people piled on.  It wasn't so much that I was disagreed with that hurt my feelings, but the piling on, the others who jumped in and proved my opinion wrong.  I went through a range of emotions.  I had all the feels, as they say.  I have concluded some steps I will take to avoid such a situation in the future.  I feel good about planning these steps and maturely deciding what is healthy for me to do.  It is nice not to have to run every time I get hurt by something.

I have actually eaten three tomatoes from my patio plant. There are several more that are ripening.  I think the patio tomato was a win this year.  It was possible mainly because I was home all the time to water it.  I hope next year the summer might involve some travel, so maybe not such a good deal then.  Something to look forward to.

Summary of the Life

I have written a lot about the Covid in recent months.  It effects all areas of my life so it is what I think about and thus what I write about.  But, I am bored with talking about it.  I suppose I have gone through the grieving process for my life and what I had hoped to do enough that I am learning to accept the new normal.  This is life.  It isn't as pleasant as it once was, but still privileged and easy for the most part.

I have also thought a lot about white privilege and where I am on that.  I will probably do some writing about that when I get my thoughts together. It is such a big thing and my ideas have changed and grown over time.  But, it is too important a topic to me to just write some quickly dashed off piece that I haven't carefully considered.

I am soon back to full time daycare with the grandchildren.  I love it, but the older I get, the more exhausting it is.  I am pretty well committed to this until there is a vaccine.  I can't see the only two grandchildren I will ever have going to daycare during a pandemic if I am capable of caring for them.  During a pandemic, I don't have a lot of other options anyway when I consider it.  But talking care of the baby girl is a new experience.  I haven't experienced a lot of girls on an up close personal diaper changing level.

I almost re-homed the parakeets I got during the lock down.  I think I am having allergies.  I certainly had sinus problems that aren't completely gone.  I got an air purifier which helps, but not completely.  If I can't solve this issue I will have to look for a home for them.  Then my house will be too quiet again.  So, this is an issue.

I have failed to walk the imaginary dog a few more days than I would like lately.  I just feel tired and it is hot.  I am looking to motivate myself somehow.  Hard to do.

I got my first tomato off my patio plant.  If it would be the only one, it would be a $17 tomato.  I think I will get a few more.  My gardening skills are really lacking though.  Even my onions are not looking good.  I thought onions were one thing I could have success at.  The rabbits have even eaten the hostas.  I think the raspberry bush and the blackberry bush may survive, but I won't see fruit this year.  My thyme, oregano, and mint are prospering, but I don't need much of those. All that watering for so little result.

My brother is coming today from Chicago.  We are headed over to see my 99 year old mother.  I am glad that we found a way to take her out of assisted living so that we can visit her and she might survive the virus.  I think my sister and my mom are getting along okay. Terrible choices to make sometimes these days.

I am trying to consider going back to a weekday Mass next week so that I can receive Eucharist.  It has been so long.  I have watched the weekday Masses and they aren't too crowded, mostly empty, so perhaps I could take the risk.  I will pray about it.

So, in summary.  I am fine.  My life is fine.  I am not bored, but I am sometimes lonely.  The problems that I have and I still have problems are tolerable for the most part.  I am blessed, but given my fallen human nature, I am not always as happy as I should be for all the blessings in my life.

Quick Takes

So it is Friday and I didn't get around to logging in and posting this week beyond the posts up to Thursday.  I really thought I would, but it just didn't happen.  I thought I would revive the old quick take to summarize the week.

My grandson who is now two has suddenly made some leaps and bounds in development.  He is using words a little more firmly, as though he knows what he is talking about.  When he says "help" he really wants help.  His parents have finally figured out that Aboo means Peekaboo.  I named one of my parakeets Abu because it was his favorite game, but they didn't get it.

My son, his daddy, turned 40.  Makes me feel old.  I wasn't a teenager when I had him.  But I wasn't in y 30s either.  I made him cinnamon rolls for his birthday. It is too bad I am too fat, because I have discovered a love of baking with yeast.  I heard that the president wants to declare the pandemic over and stop testing and that gave me a really good idea.  If I declare that I have already lost 50 pounds and stop weighing I wonder how that would work?

People who wear masks care about my life and safety.  They make it possible for me to shop and visit places.  But the people who don't care keep me trapped in my house.  A few bad apples, so to speak.  My county is having a carnival and a July 4th fireworks display so I suspect in a few weeks the virus will run wild around here.

I have tomatoes growing on my little patio plant.  I had eleven at last count.  The $17 I paid for it may be worth it.  The tomato in my garden has not one bloom on it yet.  The rabbits are eating my hostas, my begonias, and my raspberry bush.  They are leaving the onions, oregano and thyme alone.  I think they are not Italian.

The grandson is waking up from his nap.  This is enough randomness for today.

Seven Quick Takes Friday

I am attempting to link to the Conversion Diary. She hosts this little meme each week. Visit her, she writes better than I do. Perhaps I make up for it in personality. Perhaps not.

At any rate, here are the takes--

-1-

I'm not as stupid as I look, or maybe I am because I forgot and put the @ sign when I listed my gmail address. I have really gotten some interesting spam. You wouldn't believe all the people who write and offer money.. if somehow you loan them some first or something. Or maybe you would believe it. I fixed it and I hope eventually it goes away.

-2-

Last week I spent two days, between checking out books to kids and helping with research and.. well my regular library stuff, counting bookends and figuring the percent which were bad. It was 85 percent. Pretty bad for a two year old library. The long and the short of it is, I will get 600 new bookends one of these days. I will have to replace each one of the old ones. (In case you are asking how they could be "bad"--they had sticky magnets on the bottoms of the bookends. As the glue failed they stuck up the books and the shelves and me.) They really do pay me for this job and it is not as complicated as I make it sound, but don't try this at home. Just figuring the percentages about gave me hives.

-3-

I'm taking a scripture class on Thursday nights. My across the street neighbor is taking it with me, so I am looking forward to it as one of the "fun" things I chose to do instead of another retreat this spring.

-4-

I need to toodle up the lazy river to Q next weekend to help my mom sort through her house and all its delights. My brother assures me that he has killed all the mice, so there is that.

-5-

My husband and I are trying to do at least one fun thing together each week. It is pitiful when we have to negociate with each other whether something was fun, i.e. was stopping by the Open House fun? No, yes, Was lunching at our favorite sandwich place fun? Yes, maybe. We each have our own ideas about fun. Perhaps it would be helpful if we picked a more descriptive word than fun. Was it delightful? Transforming? Joyfilled? Over the top?

-6-

Looking at my blog stats I am beginning to suspect that one of my brothers, my niece, and a few people I know around the Lou actually read this blog and don't comment. But who are you--Denmark? Turkey? England? Fiji? Leave a comment, I'd love to know.

-7-

So, there you have it, I'm not good with lists, memes, and nothing is going on right now that could be considered remotely interesting. But I did pull out my Simon and Garfunkel and a bit of John Denver because I waxed nostalgic after ABM's little lyric question this week.