Jennifer Fulwiler, Conversion Diarist, Radio Host, and Stand Up Comic has a new book out. Your Blue Flame. I loved her other two books, so I thought I would give it a try. I wasn't sure that the topic suited me, but I was sure that the writing would be entertaining and that Jen would give me something to think about.
I got the book this weekend and I am not halfway through it yet, but what I have read so far has motivated me and changed my attitude and got me writing this blog again. I answered the 7 questions on the cocktail napkins and it became obvious to me, that aching need in my life had a lot to do with abandoning this blog. The great thing about the book is, you and you and you will not come to that same conclusion. You will find different things when you answer the 7 questions.
For me, blogging was a lifeline. From the time I started it made me feel alive. I didn't really need anyone else to read it, I just needed to write. I needed to write. When I could have an updated blog post every day and when I figured out new things, like how to load photos or schedule posts I felt alive. My life had meaning and focus.
I quit the blog a while ago because I was hurt very deeply by someone who used the blog to hurt me. It really isn't relevant to explain. I was hurt. I want to scream about the ways I was hurt, but I have reached a point where I can acknowledge, whether it was blog posts or something else, that person would have hurt me. That need to hurt me has nothing to do with me and a lot to do with the other person. I did nothing wrong. But, I stopped blogging and then I tried to be very very careful about what I wrote to avoid or prevent being hurt again.
Reading the book about finding my blue flame reminded me that I love the blog, love to blog. Even greater than the hurt caused by the person using the blog posts, was the pain of thinking that I couldn't blog because I would be hurt. I will be hurt again. I hope that a blog post won't be the cause, but even if it is, life is learning. I love to write my thoughts and share my pictures on a blog. Already, knowing that I can blog again makes me smile. Blogging is my blue flame.
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Monday, May 4, 2020
Wednesday, July 3, 2019
...And It Is All Good
My sister and I have been "writing a book" for about 5 years now. Properly stated, she has been writing a book and I have been offering research and opinions. I loved the book she finished. It had a young African American protagonist not unlike some of the young men I once taught. It was historical, which is where the research (my part) came in. We did some trips to check out setting and places and talk to folks about things. I have seen a lot of Oklahoma as a result.
We went to a writer's conference last weekend. We were basically told that two white girls writing a book with an African American protagonist was never going to be published and perhaps we had some things wrong anyway. Realistically, I suppose we did have some things wrong even though we tried and even though we thought we had good excuses for the things that happened in the story. This information could have knocked the wind out of our writing. In some ways it did. We are no longer writing a book together.
I could clearly see that I wanted to write a completely different non-fiction book for young people based in the late nineteenth century. I can't write fiction and honestly I don't want to take the time and effort it would require to learn how to do it. But I can write non-fiction and that is what I will try to do. Sessions at the conference helped me to see a clear path to accomplish this goal. I just need to do the work. For me research is hardly work, so it is just writing the information that will be the challenge. (And from my scattered attempts at this blog, you might, dear reader, guess that I do like to write.) I am not sure if anyone would want to read my book, but that is okay. I want to write it, regardless of readership. Over and over again I heard at the conference--write the book that you want to write.
My sister plans to take the original story we imagined and change it around with a white girl as the protagonist and who knows where she will take it from there. I look forward to reading it someday. What could have been a devastating blow is a relief. It is frustrating to "co-author" a book that you didn't write a word of and I am sure it was frustrating to write a book and have someone who can't write fiction give all of these suggestions.
So when we returned from the conference and I saw that my last blog post was--Sometimes I Think In Essays, I thought, good thing I like to think that way. It will serve me well as I attempt to write this book I have running around in my brain.
We went to a writer's conference last weekend. We were basically told that two white girls writing a book with an African American protagonist was never going to be published and perhaps we had some things wrong anyway. Realistically, I suppose we did have some things wrong even though we tried and even though we thought we had good excuses for the things that happened in the story. This information could have knocked the wind out of our writing. In some ways it did. We are no longer writing a book together.
I could clearly see that I wanted to write a completely different non-fiction book for young people based in the late nineteenth century. I can't write fiction and honestly I don't want to take the time and effort it would require to learn how to do it. But I can write non-fiction and that is what I will try to do. Sessions at the conference helped me to see a clear path to accomplish this goal. I just need to do the work. For me research is hardly work, so it is just writing the information that will be the challenge. (And from my scattered attempts at this blog, you might, dear reader, guess that I do like to write.) I am not sure if anyone would want to read my book, but that is okay. I want to write it, regardless of readership. Over and over again I heard at the conference--write the book that you want to write.
My sister plans to take the original story we imagined and change it around with a white girl as the protagonist and who knows where she will take it from there. I look forward to reading it someday. What could have been a devastating blow is a relief. It is frustrating to "co-author" a book that you didn't write a word of and I am sure it was frustrating to write a book and have someone who can't write fiction give all of these suggestions.
So when we returned from the conference and I saw that my last blog post was--Sometimes I Think In Essays, I thought, good thing I like to think that way. It will serve me well as I attempt to write this book I have running around in my brain.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)