Quick Takes

Last week I didn't end up posting on Friday.  I thought that I would do quick takes, but I ended up too tired, depressed, and busy to post anything on Friday. 

I would have posted that my grand daughter and I are still at odds.  I am starting to figure things out.  I end up being a part time caregiver because her mom still breast feeds her throughout the day, wears her in a tight baby carrier after no one has been able to calm her down, and tells me things I should do after the fact.  This little 5 month old is not an easy baby.  It is possible that she would have never settled down to daycare.  I love the close relationship between mother and daughter, but I hate the stress that my care is causing.  It seems to me that we have several options.  One would be that mom take a leave of absence from her job until this baby is a little older.  Another would be that mom stops breastfeeding during the day and pumps or gives formula to me to feed her.  Or perhaps mom could stop wearing the baby.  She says that it is the only thing that soothes the baby, but if that is the case, then what am I supposed to do?  If anyone is capable of calming the baby not being worn, it would be the mom. If we were not in a pandemic, I would quit.  Being screamed at for seemingly hours by a child I love is more stressful than I signed up for.

After the tax situation, the jury duty situation, and the tooth crown situation were resolved in less than a week I recognized how much I rely on anxiety to motivate me.  This is a problem.  I don't have a solution, but I am aware that recognizing a problem is the first step to solving it.

Sadly, my house really needs to be cleaned and organized and I have neither the motivation nor the ability to figure out what to do first. One right step and then another.  That is all I can do.

I had a four day weekend this week.  It would have been a great time to go to Chicago and visit a friend, but the pandemic. Or Champaign, IL and visit a friend, but the pandemic. Or to have visited.....but the pandemic. I heard someone say that the pandemic doesn't mean we can't have fun, do something fun, that we just need to plan for safe fun....so I am trying to figure out what that is.