Thanksgiving

 Today families get together and give thanks.  In my childhood we almost always got together with some branch of the family.  It was never just my parents and siblings.  We always dined with somebody.  Often we went to somebody's house.  I remember one year we had raccoon.

In the married years we were far from home for many Thanksgivings.  I often cooked a whole Thanksgiving dinner for just the three of us.  It was a lot of work.  But, over the years I got better at it. Since I have been single, I have had a variety of Thanksgivings.  One year I cooked for a bunch of people to whom I am related. More than once, I have been alone on Thanksgiving.  One year I got really depressed, alone on that holiday.

This year is mixed bag.  I will be alone on Thanksgiving.  I am babysitting for the grands on Friday My brother is coming and we will gather for a family dinner on Saturday.  Even my 100 year old mother plans to come!

So, today I am alone.  I will rest up for a busy weekend. I will think of something special to do today.  I will celebrate, but not be lonely.  I hope that all the tables in all the country can celebrate in peace and love and health. Happy Thanksgiving.

Thankful Thursday

 Today I am thankful that I can change my mind, change my course of action, try something new.  I am thankful for new possibilities. 

Thankful Thursday

 I used to do a thankful Thursday.  Since I restarted the blog, I haven't done things the way I used to do them.  But, today, on the week before Lent begins, as I consider the changes I might try to make in my life, I will do a Thankful Thursday.

Today I am thankful for my dad.  He passed away on February 15, 1982.  He has been gone a long time.  But, his voice, his example still reverberate through my life.  Dad was a favorite and oldest son. He was a crowd pleaser, a hale fellow, well met, as they say. He was smart, but not brilliant.  He had wide interests and he was creative in those.

Dad was an English teacher, a principal and superintendent, a hobby farmer, a house builder, a traveler, a newspaper publisher, an elected official, a man of church and of community organizations.  But, he was a father first, I think.  I am like him in so many ways.  And different in so many others.

For me, my dad was the one person who loved me unconditionally.  When I faced leaving my marriage I imagined talking to my dad about it.  I knew beyond any doubt that my dad would tell me to leave and offer me a place to stay. He wouldn't want me to put up with the situation I was in.  He wouldn't want me to live in fear and anguish. My dad would protect me.

I am thankful for my dad. I am thankful that his love still carries me through even though he left life a long time ago.  I look forward to meeting him in Heaven someday.  I look forward to the laughs we will have and the joy of being together again.

Tidy, Continued

 Somewhere a little less than a year ago I watched Tidying Up on Netflix.  I had selected that show because I was working on something and just wanted background noise.  I wanted something that would not grab my attention, but would make for a few minutes of interest here and there. I actually thought I would probably hate the idea of Tidying Up.

Of course, I was fascinated.  I could see what Marie was getting at.  I could understand the method.  Even if I couldn't totally subscribe to the idea of getting rid of so much stuff, I could see that this method could help me with my mountains and piles of stuff to sort and clean and remove from my life.

So a little less than a year ago I began to tidy up.  I didn't put all my clothes in a pile or empty out my kitchen.  But, I pulled out a drawer here and a box there and began to sort and get rid of stuff.  I had taken 6 boxes to the Saint Vincent de Paul shop before the pandemic hit. Suddenly I was busy making face masks and reading articles about disease prevention.  I hunkered down.  I stopped tidying.

As I approach the holidays again, I think that I am ready to start Tidying Up again.  I am not a naturally tidy person.  I need to become intentional about it.  I am thankful that I have lived this far through the pandemic and can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I am thankful for the chance to tidy up.

As the Year Races On

 It feels like last Christmas was a million years ago.  I was looking over journal entries from a year ago and I was in a whole different place last year.  I was most probably somewhat depressed.  I can't say that I didn't know it.  I tried to find things to make me laugh and I couldn't.  I couldn't laugh.

In that depressed state of mind small slights and problems send me into a spiral down.  I recognize this, but the things about depression is that you can't just tell it to go away.  You can't just say, I shouldn't be depressed and then not be.  It doesn't work like that.  You don't choose to be depressed.

I have taken medication for depression before.  I imagine that lots of people have. Getting off the depression medication was hard for me.  I had a lot of symptoms from itching to uncontrolled eating.  i almost decided to stay on the medication, but finally I was able to wean it down to nothing.  Like many people, I never want to take antidepressants again unless I really need them.

But, this terrible year of problem after problem, I was not depressed.  I handled things pretty well. I was able to keep myself from the downward path. I can laugh and enjoy things. I am thankful for the good mental health.  It is nice to have feelings that I can count on rather than dark angry feelings that I have to fight.

I am thankful for this year of dramatic elections and pandemics. I am not thankful for those particular things, but I am thankful for the lessons they taught me.  I take a step back if the news is too bad or too hard to digest.  I walk out in the sunshine.  I remind myself that someone else's rude behavior reflects on them, not on me. I don't try to be perfect anymore.  I love myself.

I Am Not the King of Romania

 If I announced that I were the King of Romania, I wouldn't be the king or even the queen. If I declare that taking Vitamin ZYQ would make me live to 100, it wouldn't. If I refuse to wear a shirt or a mask or shoes, it doesn't mean that I am free or that I had a right to refuse because I live in a free society.  If I decide to drive 120 miles per hour on the highway, I still have to pay the price, which might be a tragic accident or an expensive ticket.

When I became an adult, in fact even while I was growing toward maturity, I learned that I didn't get everything I wanted.  I accepted that there are limitations placed by society, by facts, by life. I have learned to check facts and to view news critically and recognize that there is basis of one kind or another in most things. I look at both sides.

I am thankful that even though I am not the smartest person in the world, I am not easily led.  I am not a blind follower.  I consider.  I think.  I ask questions.  I have values.  This is a gift. I am not the king of Romania.  

Happy Thanksgiving

 We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing.... Maybe this year we need those blessings more than ever.  We have the election nightmare, the pandemic, and the specter of holidays ill or alone. This is a very sad year in many ways.  Families separated by politics and disease is what 2020 seems to be about. Maybe it is time to turn it around.

I have had to remind myself that the people I disagree with either politically or about masking or whatever, are not evil.  They are just wrong.  And for whatever reason, they think I am wrong.  But, we are not evil.  It doesn't help to demonize them.  Love them and pray for them, even when it is hard to do that.  I try to remember to pray.

Take a walk and talk about things you have in common, memories.  Share favorites, share food.  Play games.  This year, stay apart.  Use the electronic means to get in touch.  There are less dishes that way.  You won't really have time to argue.  

This year, more than ever before and hopefully ever again, stay home, stay away, celebrate small.  If we could all do that, it might lead to a merry Christmas and a happy healthy new year.  I don't know about you, but I am looking forward to a shot in 2021 and a happy, large, joyful Thanksgiving celebration next year.

A Slice of Pie

My daughter in law, who invited me to Thanksgiving dinner at their house (I spend every day there anyway caring for the grandkids and I am the only guest) asked if there were any special dishes I longed for on Thanksgiving.  There aren't. I told her I preferred turkey to warming up frozen pizza, but that wasn't a deal breaker.  She assured me that they were having all the traditional things.

Truth be told there is only one dish that I crave for Thanksgiving.  If I don't get it, I go home and make it for myself, which is terrible because I am only one person and I can't throw any of it away.  But, I have done it before. I need a slice of pumpkin pie, cold with either whipped cream or ice cream/ frozen yogurt.  Pumpkin pie is my favorite, my only favorite for Thanksgiving.  But, it is my daughter in law's favorite too, so I am in luck!  

I hope that your Thanksgiving finds you warm and safe and with a nice slice of pie.

Thankful Thursday

 I haven't done a Thankful Thursday in forever.  

I am thankful that time keeps on moving and nobody can stop it.  People would stop it or crank it back if they could.  I have found that it is better to keep moving. 

I am thankful to be warm and fed and reasonably safe.  So many people in the world do not have those things.  I am blessed.

I am thankful to have a child and grandchildren.  I am one of those people who finds great joy in children.

I am thankful that I still have the ability to do lots of things.  I can get depressed focusing on things I can no longer do or look forward to, but I can still do a lot, have done a lot.

I am thankful that a vaccine may make returning to some semblance of life pre-pandemic may be possible.

I am thankful for my friends, my family, my church and my country.

I am blessed.