People

 I have had many people in my life who don't have the ability to imagine the feelings of another person. I worry that I might be that way too since I have lived with/loved/ known so many people who seem to live this way. I don't think that I lack empathy, but sometimes I lack the ability to properly express my empathy.  

Hide my feelings.  That is what I have learned throughout my life.  I feel things, feel them deeply, but I don't let myself express these feelings most of the time. I stuff my emotions in a laundry basket, a figurative laundry basket.  When it gets too stuffed, it explodes in a vivid display of inappropriate anger, rage, fear, sadness. It is like the fourth of July.  I hate that, so I keep stuffing.

But, how could I now begin to learn to express feelings?  How could I respond, not react to situations? I am not sure, but I am trying.  It is never too late to become more authentically myself. Is it?

Which Side Are You On?

 It seems like in common parlance in the USA today one has to either be a fascist or a socialist. I am neither. I believe in democracy. For democracy to survive there must be an educated and intelligent populace.  Holding one's opinion while not hating those who differ seems a key to civil society.

I hate it that there are sides and hate. Hate. Hate led to our Civil War.  Are we headed there again?  Can we not focus on the things we have in common instead of the opinions that divide us?  Because most of us love our families. Most of us believe in God, at least some sort of god. Most of us would like to win the lottery.  Most of us want to feel safe in our homes and communities. Most of us want a better life for our children.  At least I think most of us want those things.

I don't like either of our political parties run by the old white men. Rich men. Powerful men. I don't feel that anyone on the political scene today represents me. But, I will vote for the lesser of evils.  I will vote.

The IRS Is Not My Favorite Government Agency

 So, I owed taxes this year.  I wrote a check and mailed it in June.  I wasn't waiting until the last minute.  I mailed the check at the post office because I don't trust checks in my curbside mailbox. I was being the responsible taxpayer.  I didn't do a wire transfer thing because someone else did my taxes and we were in a pandemic when I had things done.  I picked up the paperwork and didn't want to spend time in the office exchanging all the numbers for  the direct method. Mistake.

So, I got a letter from the IRS this week stating that I didn't pay my taxes and I owed a fine.  I was a little upset.  I was more than a little upset.  I called the person who did my taxes. She said that many clients were having the same problem.  Apparently between the pandemic and the stimulus payments the IRS is a little behind in opening their mail. Insert loud yell here. So they are sending out bills in case you owe the money.  But, couldn't the people who made out the bills have opened the mail instead?

I am not sure how to figure this out.  If I send them another check with the fine what if it just sits in a pile? If I am going to try the direct deposit route, what it they have already opened and cashed my check? If I send it certified mail, would that make a difference?  Has the whole world gone crazy?

Anyway, there are two things certain in life, death and taxes.  I suppose I am lucky to be alive and trying to deal with this mess.