Hugs

If you need a hug, HUG! I am truly more blessed than most people because in caring for my grandchildren I hug them or pick them up most of the day. I am blessed beyond measure.  But, that is not to say that I have everything that I need.  A casual conversation would be nice.  Going somewhere and seeing something beyond my neighborhood or the trip to my son's house sounds fun. Forgetting something at the grocery store and just running over to get it sounds relaxing.

For nine or ten months my world has been limited, as has yours if you are following the advice of the CDC. At first I didn't miss the wider world very much.  I don't go to bars. I don't eat at restaurants all that often.  I shop, but usually for something. I don't go to many movies. At first Mass online was novel and interesting.   

But with a year of this pandemic crowding in before I know it, I am worn out.  I am worn out from worrying about every sneeze or cough.  I am worn out planning my shopping, putting off appointments, delaying things that I had planned. I am tired of my own cooking and I am bored by even movies or television programs that I had looked forward to watching.  I have done some quilting, but even that is getting to the point where I would like to get some new ideas.

I have put on some weight that I really didn't need.  I did some baking and since I am a household of one, I ate some of it. I am discouraged continuing the weight loss plan I had been following.  I can't keep fresh fruits and vegetables always at the ready. I do pretty well during the day, but when the sun goes down I eat comforting things.  These things are not low calorie choices, but I don't seem to be able to change that habit at the moment. When I am choosing entertainment, I find that I often give up on something new. I tend to watch things I have seen before.  White Christmas, Sound of Music, The Muppet Movie have been some of my recent choices. I like familiar and happy. 

I considered this the other day, my eating and viewing choices. What I concluded is, I am looking for a hug. A lot of what is going on waiting for this vaccine is beyond my control. I do what I can about the virus, but it is becoming more contagious.  Will I be able to do enough? In the meantime, I look for comfort where I can.  I can't foresee the future.  In a world of uncertainty and unknowns, I seek comfort. I am gentle with myself, forgiving.  I look forward in hope to a new tomorrow. Hugs!