Ignore It

 Sandpaper, that is what some people are, they are sandpaper.  They are the sandpaper that shines me up and makes me ready for heaven.  My whole life I have danced to different people's drummers rather than my own.  That is not to say that I had loose morals or gave in on moral issues to others.  But, when they criticized me, told me that I needed to change or that I was wrong, I listened and tried to change. I turned myself into pretzels to please other people.

Looking t my behavior, I did rather crazy self denying things.  If someone criticized me and I was unable to change to please them, I would buy or make them a present, say something complementary, or practice being extra nice.  I never really looked fully at the fact that they were criticizing or manipulating me.  I never considered that they didn't have a right to do that.

Lately there is someone in my life who lectures me as if I were a 13 year old.  Since I am more than twice her age, it is more than a little insulting to be talked to that way. At first I fell into old patterns of trying to please that person, buying or making little gifts, trying to conform my behavior to their expectations. But, I had a moment, as they say.  I recognized that the other person was wrong in their criticism, that I had a right to be me, and trying to please them was counter productive.  I felt some turmoil in this decision, but I know that it is the right thing.  I choose to ignore them.  They have no right to tell me what they did, how they did.  So, I can pretend that I don't remember or that I didn't hear them or I can even decide to forget what they said.

If I am right with God in my behavior, than I don't owe another person anything. Criticism is not holy in my experience.  Trying to make another person feel inferior is wrong. I dance with God.  I don't need to please someone else.  Thank God I learned that lesson. Thank God.