Joyous Easter

The robins have set up a nest on the back porch and the grand baby is sleeping.  It is a cool spring day with some showers.  Easter, the season, the prolonged celebration is here. I had a good Lent and I am up for the celebration.  I am learning and sometimes succeeding in letting go of fear and and anxiety.  I am learning to be joyful.

Chief among my joys is my grandchild.  He is an easy baby and I needed one of those since I am his daycare provider.  I have loved him from the minute I met him and before that even.  I dreamed of him for years and years.  I loved the tiny baby he was when I first took care of him, but I must confess, he is really starting to be fun.  He understands and communicates with me.  He is a good eater, and a good sleeper (although he has been known to fight a nap as though it were Hitler).  He has my sense of humor, or maybe his mommy's humor, but whatever, we "get" each other.  While he is isn't perfect, he is perfect for me.

I am discovering and expressing who I am.  I used to reflect all the roles and expectations of others, try to be a good Catholic, a good Christian, a good citizen, a good sibling, daughter, wife; but these days I try to be me.  "Me" is a pretty good person, but if I don't vote in every election, or do things that cause me pain in order to make others happy, I am okay with that.  What I was trying for was perfection, and I am not perfect, none of us are, and it is time I accept that.  I am human.

This year I planted a blackberry bush, picked rocks from my flower bed, started a big quilt, and worked to put my house in order.  I do simple, ordinary things.  These things I do, I won't get recognition for, that aren't amazing or phenomenal.  But, I am reclaiming joy in the little things and the little person I spend my days with.  I am learning to accept God's mercy and grace.