I have given up the fun part of FaceBook this year for Lent. I still keep in touch with my siblings because that is our main communication, so I can't say I am entirely off. Just off the fun part. I have friends with kids who write about funny things they do. I have friends taking college classes who blow off steam. I have a friend who is pregnant and I really would like to keep up with how that is going. But I can pray, it isn't as though I could do anything anyway except pray.
The diet chatter and the health stuff and the funny things that they show in pictures on Facebook. I miss all of that. I miss the day to day stuff. I like to report things that are even too trivial for this very trivial blog on Facebook. Like when I had a cold and went to bed. Like when I had 4 meetings in one night. I use Facebook as a friend. And therein lies the problem for me. Facebook as a friend?
On Friday nights so far is when I feel it the most, that desire to find out what everyone is doing. On Facebook. To pretend I was part of something, some lives, that I am not. Not in any real way. If I am lonely, I need to pray about it. I need to reach out and make a friend who I can talk to in real time.
Fasting from the Facebook has been good for me, but not easy. Like so many people, I need to find balance with this on-line stuff. Be friendly, be friends, but also be me in real time with real people.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Choice
I don't get into the fray much with politics and all of that, but I have always been aware of the desparity between the "right" to choice and the "right" to promote the culture of death, of the world, of no faith or hope in God. No where is the desparity greater in my personal experience than in the woman's right to privacy or as it has become to be known, the woman's right to choose.
In my experience the choosing only goes one way really. That is to choose to control birth, to avoid pregnancy, to end life before it begins. This is why I say that. From the time I had my first child, my only living child, every doctor asked--what form of birth control are you using? Not, are you using birth control? but what form of birth control. Whenever I said none, I got challenged and speeched and sometimes insulted. And you might ask why I put up with that, but as a military spouse in overseas and even stateside assignments for my hubby, I didn't really have any choice of doctors or even the priviledge of seeing the same doctor more than once.
One doctor insisted, even after I had lost my second child, that he had to write that I was trying to get pregnant in my chart if I wasn't using birth control. Seriously? He was a civilian doctor and I quit going to him. I started on my current doctor at menopause so she didn't ask those questions and I hope that she wouldn't have.
I am stubborn and pigheaded and I knew what I believed. It wasn't necessarily easy for me to engage doctors in the no birth control discussion over the years. Even though I knew what I believed and I had absolutely no intention of using birth control, it was hard. I considered at some points just letting them write the prescription and not filling it. You can lead a horse to water...
I wonder how the people who believe in choice can say that with a straight face. They believe in playing God from my way of looking at it. And for me that would be no choice at all. Because where was I when the mountains were made or the sea was filled up?
In my experience the choosing only goes one way really. That is to choose to control birth, to avoid pregnancy, to end life before it begins. This is why I say that. From the time I had my first child, my only living child, every doctor asked--what form of birth control are you using? Not, are you using birth control? but what form of birth control. Whenever I said none, I got challenged and speeched and sometimes insulted. And you might ask why I put up with that, but as a military spouse in overseas and even stateside assignments for my hubby, I didn't really have any choice of doctors or even the priviledge of seeing the same doctor more than once.
One doctor insisted, even after I had lost my second child, that he had to write that I was trying to get pregnant in my chart if I wasn't using birth control. Seriously? He was a civilian doctor and I quit going to him. I started on my current doctor at menopause so she didn't ask those questions and I hope that she wouldn't have.
I am stubborn and pigheaded and I knew what I believed. It wasn't necessarily easy for me to engage doctors in the no birth control discussion over the years. Even though I knew what I believed and I had absolutely no intention of using birth control, it was hard. I considered at some points just letting them write the prescription and not filling it. You can lead a horse to water...
I wonder how the people who believe in choice can say that with a straight face. They believe in playing God from my way of looking at it. And for me that would be no choice at all. Because where was I when the mountains were made or the sea was filled up?
Monday, March 5, 2012
Monday Memories, Paternal Grandparents
My paternal grandparents Harry and Mary moved to Liberty in 1929. I am not sure whether they moved before the banks failed. If they did, they must have already bought the farm so to speak, because owing money on the farm was not something I heard in the family stories. My dad was the oldest and 10 years old when they moved. I know that especially because my brother was ten years old when we moved back to Liberty from northern Illinois and my dad would remark about that, his son, named for him, moved to Liberty at the same age he moved there.
My grandparents farmed with horses pulling plows and such, I am pretty sure because my grandpa didn't drive. (Well, he did try once and wrecked my dad's car, so the story goes.) They probably had about 40 acres. I know where that farm used to be, but the house and barns are gone. The last time I drove by, it was planted in soy beans. They must have had some cows, because my aunt married the milkman who picked up their milk. My dad and his siblings went to a one room school called Chaplin through the 8th grade. It was a brick or stone building that was used to store hay while I was in high school. Then Dad went into the village school through 11th grade and lived with his grandparents in Quincy to finish high school. The family sold a cow so that he could go to college at Western.
My dad told stories of turning over outhouses on Halloween in the village. He once tried to make a deal to work for a penny for a day, if the money could be doubled each day from then on. It didn't happen. Down the gravel road where my grandparents lived, still live some of the same families who lived there in the 1930s.
My grandma told me that my grandpa worked for the WPA and helped build "the hard road" (which is the cement highway 104). They must have done a pretty good job because that road wasn't resurfaced until the 1970s. Even my uncle who is the last one still living, the youngest child didn't know that. He remembered his dad working for the WPA, but he didn't know what he did. This last uncle was born out at the Liberty farm.
My grandpa was born in Indian Territory that is now Oklahoma. (His sister was a Sooner and one of his brothers left us rights to the oil on a property which has provided us with checkes for pennies once adecade or so.) They lived among the Cheyenne Arapahoe people where my grandparents worked to educate them in the ways of the white people. There is a lot of debate about the right and wrong of this today. But, my grandpa spoke and danced and knew a great deal about the Arapahoe people. He would perform in Chataqua presentations. He was an oddity for a community that was largely German and Polish. When I went to high school in Liberty, many people told me they remembered when my grandpa performed the Indian dances.
That is probably enough for now.
My grandparents farmed with horses pulling plows and such, I am pretty sure because my grandpa didn't drive. (Well, he did try once and wrecked my dad's car, so the story goes.) They probably had about 40 acres. I know where that farm used to be, but the house and barns are gone. The last time I drove by, it was planted in soy beans. They must have had some cows, because my aunt married the milkman who picked up their milk. My dad and his siblings went to a one room school called Chaplin through the 8th grade. It was a brick or stone building that was used to store hay while I was in high school. Then Dad went into the village school through 11th grade and lived with his grandparents in Quincy to finish high school. The family sold a cow so that he could go to college at Western.
My dad told stories of turning over outhouses on Halloween in the village. He once tried to make a deal to work for a penny for a day, if the money could be doubled each day from then on. It didn't happen. Down the gravel road where my grandparents lived, still live some of the same families who lived there in the 1930s.
My grandma told me that my grandpa worked for the WPA and helped build "the hard road" (which is the cement highway 104). They must have done a pretty good job because that road wasn't resurfaced until the 1970s. Even my uncle who is the last one still living, the youngest child didn't know that. He remembered his dad working for the WPA, but he didn't know what he did. This last uncle was born out at the Liberty farm.
My grandpa was born in Indian Territory that is now Oklahoma. (His sister was a Sooner and one of his brothers left us rights to the oil on a property which has provided us with checkes for pennies once adecade or so.) They lived among the Cheyenne Arapahoe people where my grandparents worked to educate them in the ways of the white people. There is a lot of debate about the right and wrong of this today. But, my grandpa spoke and danced and knew a great deal about the Arapahoe people. He would perform in Chataqua presentations. He was an oddity for a community that was largely German and Polish. When I went to high school in Liberty, many people told me they remembered when my grandpa performed the Indian dances.
That is probably enough for now.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Sunday Prayers
Amen.
(If you have needs, leave a comment and I will pray with you.)
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Boring Post for Saturday
(Thank you, Dawn, for the logo.)
I am beginning to find my stride again in blogging. I have posts written about 2 weeks in advance as of this post and I am still chugging. When I get ahead like this blogging is less a chore and more a joy because I get to say what I think about instead of have to write something.....
That is my style. I write and schedule and tinker with posts. I add photos later sometimes or correct spelling and typos and grammar if I care. And hide some posts if I have changed my mind. Because I do that sometimes. It is a woman's prerogative to change her mind.
Anyway, not that you all were worried, but the kid is back. I have had a blogging break post scheduled ahead for quite a while now and I put it just beyond where I have scheduled. It has come so close to being used a number of times in the past 6 months. But, these days it just keeps getting pushed farther and farther out. I don't think I will be taking a break for a while.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Happy 7th Birthday!
So, Hannah Banana, you have reached the ripe old age of seven. I blinked my eyes and you grew out of diapers, and preschool and kindergarten and you are a first grader. You have become quite a little person. You spend too much time with your daddy and have developed a rather sarcastic sense of humor for one so young.
You are an animal lover, so at least you got something from your Godmother/ auntie. You have already learned how to flatter when you said with a straight face that your favorite class in school was library. (First graders don't think library is their favorite class. For goodness sake, you haven't even used databases yet. Oh the fun we will have!)
You are an animal lover, so at least you got something from your Godmother/ auntie. You have already learned how to flatter when you said with a straight face that your favorite class in school was library. (First graders don't think library is their favorite class. For goodness sake, you haven't even used databases yet. Oh the fun we will have!)
7 Quick Takes
Jennifer Fulwiler hosts this meme on Conversion Diary. Go around and visit those ladies and all of the 7 QT family.
1. I feel as though I should be researching the norovirus instead of blogging because my hubby came down with it Tuesday and my time is probably coming. It was fast in and fast out. So far I have only had imagined symptoms. I think I will know if the real thing hits.
2. I am invited to the birthday party of my niece/ God-daughter on Saturday. I think I am bringing pictures of the saints to color. She will turn 7 today. My mom is throwing the birthday party for reasons too complicated to explain. I think for entertainment we will tour the senior apartments where Mom lives.
3. I went to spiritual direction on Wednesday and found myself laughing instead of crying. In fact, I didn't use one single tissue and my director used at leat four, but I think it was allergies.
4. I started teaming for an ACTS retreat on Thursday. I am a faith formation leader. The retreat will be on Corpus Christi weekend. A long time in production. But what great chances to grow closer to the Lord in a community of faith filled women.
5. I have really not been sleeping well lately. I hope this passes.
6. Spring is here. If I say it enough, it must be true.
7. My spiritual director challenged me about Adoration to think of it as the beginning of mission. That one spends time with Jesus to learn to be the hands of Christ in the world rather than to sit in contemplation and awe. I really liked that idea. It helped me to see Adoration in a new way.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Two Thousand Posts
This is post 2,000 of the published posts still available to read in my history. I have over a hundred that are moved or saved to draft, so I won't count those. This is the official 2000th post. That is a lot of words. I should have said a lot more stuff of substance with 2000 posts. But, I haven't. And I probably never will say anything of import.
Since the 2000 post seems as good as any time to tell a little bit more about me, here goes--
Nothing to tell.
I am an open book.
With the pages stuck together.
No, here goes--
1. I really like poetry.
2. I start reading a lot of books that I never finish.
3. The first book I ever loved was Big Red. It was about a dog. I either currently have a dog or long to have a dog. Right now it is the longing to have a dog stage.
4. I can be very hard on myself.
5. I don't sleep well.
6. I am a slow processor of caffeine, but if I don't have a set amount every day, I get a huge headache.
7. I am allergic to corn, peanuts, cats, fragrances, leaf mold, dust....
8. I have eczema that is worse in the winter.
9. I like to quilt but I am not very good at it.
10. I work the sudoku in the newspaper almost every day.
11. When I was 12 years old identical twin boys lived in the house beside us and another set lived in the house across the street. I babysat for them. I was always terrified that I would mix the babies up across the street and they would grow up not knowing who they were. (Until the mom taught me how to tell them apart.)
12. I only started watching Star Trek because a girl I babysat for liked it.When it was an original first run series.
13. Once upon a time when I was little, television was a very new thing.
14. I have used outhouses that were pits in the ground. At the houses of relatives when I was a child.
15. I remember when Kennedy (JFK) was shot. I was in the fifth grade.
16. I was substitute teaching in a high school library in Orlando, FL the day of the Challenger disaster. My mom was visiting from Illinois and watching from my house. She saw the whole thing. I stepped out and saw the "Y" vapor trails of the explosion in the sky.
17. I have laid my actual eyes on Nixon, Regan, and Bush I. I have seen Republican presidents for the most part. Although I did see Carter's cat Socks at the White House.
18. I was born on a Friday the Thirteenth.
19. I am the oldest child of oldest children.
20. When I was young I learned frugal skills such as sewing and baking so that when I had my many children, I would be prepared.
21. I have one child and a son to boot. Boys don't wear clothes you make for them by the time they can speak in sentences. Or maybe it is just my son....
22. I dream of someday writing a young adult novel.
23. Sadly, teaching and schools have changed so much since I first started in this profession that I would no longer recommend it. The federal government is killing education.
24. I love hawks and birds of all kinds. I am a bird lover.
25. I love to travel.
26. My favorite Lenten devotion is Stations of the Cross.
27. I hate book fairs (have I mentioned I am having one starting March 7th?)
28. My family once owned a local weekly newspaper. And they did all the work for it.
29. I work best from lists.
30. My second favorite Lenten devotional practice is the Little Black book. I also read Living Faith, God Calling and The Word Among Us all year round.
31. I am not a good singer, but God has improved my voice over the years because perhaps He is tired of hearing my off key voice at prayer group every week.
32. I name things like kitchen appliances.
33. I have never been to Africa, Australia, or Antarctica. I would like to go to two out of those three someday.
34. My favorite color is teal/ gray/ turquoise.
35. I taught myself to knit, crochet and embroider by using a book. I never got any good at knitting. But, I wish I was so that I could do Yarn Along with Ginnie.
36. I am happiest when I am busy.
37. My favorite reading is British murder mysteries. I started with Doyle and went to Christie and now do George and James and if you don't do British murder mysteries, you have no idea about which I speak.
38. I am a Downton Abbey fan.
39. I once lived down the street from Sir Lawrence Oliver. (He probably didn't know that.)
40. This is plain enough.....Anybody still reading should go do something interesting.
Since the 2000 post seems as good as any time to tell a little bit more about me, here goes--
Nothing to tell.
I am an open book.
With the pages stuck together.
No, here goes--
1. I really like poetry.
2. I start reading a lot of books that I never finish.
3. The first book I ever loved was Big Red. It was about a dog. I either currently have a dog or long to have a dog. Right now it is the longing to have a dog stage.
4. I can be very hard on myself.
5. I don't sleep well.
6. I am a slow processor of caffeine, but if I don't have a set amount every day, I get a huge headache.
7. I am allergic to corn, peanuts, cats, fragrances, leaf mold, dust....
8. I have eczema that is worse in the winter.
9. I like to quilt but I am not very good at it.
10. I work the sudoku in the newspaper almost every day.
11. When I was 12 years old identical twin boys lived in the house beside us and another set lived in the house across the street. I babysat for them. I was always terrified that I would mix the babies up across the street and they would grow up not knowing who they were. (Until the mom taught me how to tell them apart.)
12. I only started watching Star Trek because a girl I babysat for liked it.When it was an original first run series.
13. Once upon a time when I was little, television was a very new thing.
14. I have used outhouses that were pits in the ground. At the houses of relatives when I was a child.
15. I remember when Kennedy (JFK) was shot. I was in the fifth grade.
16. I was substitute teaching in a high school library in Orlando, FL the day of the Challenger disaster. My mom was visiting from Illinois and watching from my house. She saw the whole thing. I stepped out and saw the "Y" vapor trails of the explosion in the sky.
17. I have laid my actual eyes on Nixon, Regan, and Bush I. I have seen Republican presidents for the most part. Although I did see Carter's cat Socks at the White House.
18. I was born on a Friday the Thirteenth.
19. I am the oldest child of oldest children.
20. When I was young I learned frugal skills such as sewing and baking so that when I had my many children, I would be prepared.
21. I have one child and a son to boot. Boys don't wear clothes you make for them by the time they can speak in sentences. Or maybe it is just my son....
22. I dream of someday writing a young adult novel.
23. Sadly, teaching and schools have changed so much since I first started in this profession that I would no longer recommend it. The federal government is killing education.
24. I love hawks and birds of all kinds. I am a bird lover.
25. I love to travel.
26. My favorite Lenten devotion is Stations of the Cross.
27. I hate book fairs (have I mentioned I am having one starting March 7th?)
28. My family once owned a local weekly newspaper. And they did all the work for it.
29. I work best from lists.
30. My second favorite Lenten devotional practice is the Little Black book. I also read Living Faith, God Calling and The Word Among Us all year round.
31. I am not a good singer, but God has improved my voice over the years because perhaps He is tired of hearing my off key voice at prayer group every week.
32. I name things like kitchen appliances.
33. I have never been to Africa, Australia, or Antarctica. I would like to go to two out of those three someday.
34. My favorite color is teal/ gray/ turquoise.
35. I taught myself to knit, crochet and embroider by using a book. I never got any good at knitting. But, I wish I was so that I could do Yarn Along with Ginnie.
36. I am happiest when I am busy.
37. My favorite reading is British murder mysteries. I started with Doyle and went to Christie and now do George and James and if you don't do British murder mysteries, you have no idea about which I speak.
38. I am a Downton Abbey fan.
39. I once lived down the street from Sir Lawrence Oliver. (He probably didn't know that.)
40. This is plain enough.....Anybody still reading should go do something interesting.
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