A week ago I went to daily Mass. I had been watching on line the whole pandemic and recently my church started to stream the daily Mass from the church instead of the chapel. I could see how many people were there and that they were wearing masks and distancing. There were daily about 12 people at 7 am Mass. My church is fairly big and it looked distanced and masked. I picked a day that I didn't watch the grandson and went to Mass.
It felt safe. It felt both strange and familiar at the same time. It felt like a long time ago and yesterday that I was at Mass. Since I watch on line nearly every day, that was the truth. But, Eucharist, receiving Jesus in my body, that had been missing. That I had missed. I had heavenly food last week.
I don't go to Mass on the weekends. There are a lot of people and most or many of them are younger. The church is fuller and they sing. The weekend Mass takes longer. I don't feel safe. It feels like risk. It feels like risk to go to the grocery store and I go. I have a list and get in and out as fast as possible, but it is risk. That is the thing about risk, which ones to take?
I discussed Mass with my spiritual director. She encouraged me to do what felt safe. I am not sure when I will be able to go to Mass in person again. I will be full time watching the grandchildren by the time this appears. I will have to drive to work instead of Mass. But, regardless, I have received Jesus in my body and I was missing that with all my heart and soul. It was like first holy Communion.
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