What Would You Do If You Won the Lottery?

 I have never really bought a lottery ticket.  Buying a lottery ticket has been on my list of New Year's Resolutions the past few years and I have never gotten around to it.  It is on the list because it feels like a crazy risky thing to do, because lottery money goes in with taxes so it helps the state, and because I have never bought one and it is something new I can do.  But, as I said, I just haven't done it yet.  I think I might be up to buying 4 or 5 tickets by now to meet all the unmet resolutions.

The thing about the lottery, in what ever amount one might win, I don't want to win.  I think unless the amount was very small, like $50 or something, it might very possibly ruin my life.  I occasionally watch the lottery dream home show and have read articles about lottery winners and they don't seem all that happy with their winnings.

Everybody thinks that they would be different.  I suppose that I hope that I might be different if I won the lottery.  I would want to do good with the money.  But, what is the greatest good that I could do?  For me that is a tough decision. I suppose it would matter how much money was involved.  One million as opposed to 50 million might make a difference.

I don't know what I would do if I won the lottery.  The odds are not in my favor, so I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it.  But, maybe this year I will buy a couple of tickets.  It feels like I would be living dangerously, but I have lived through a pandemic, so perhaps the odds are in my favor.  (Which means to me that I wouldn't win the lottery and I wouldn't have to figure out what to do with the money. LOL)

I started thinking about this lottery thing because Judas was motivated by greed.  Greed is a slippery slope.  Once money starts to be important, it is hard to put down that impulse.  I wonder what Judas would have done if he had won the lottery? Or more to the point, what would Jesus do withlottery winnings?

Betrayals

 The readings today include Jesus' prediction of betrayal by Judas. I wonder at that scene.  Judas had seen all the miracles performed by Jesus.  Did he not believe they were real?  What did he think would happen if he betrayed such a man who was so powerful, who was God?  I suppose in the day to day familiarity of Judas' relationship with Jesus he allowed himself to forget or denied what he knew to be true. Maybe?

But, as Jesus supplies everything in his life story that we can know that He knows what we are feeling, I am thankful there was a story of betrayal.  I have had some betrayals in my life.  I have had people who have let me down, tried to control or manipulate me.  I once had someone attempt to prove I was crazy in court.  I know betrayal.

I am thankful that I can come to Jesus and talk to him about the feelings, the emotions that still linger from the betrayals. I try to feel the feelings and then move on.  I don't want to dwell in the dark times.  I want to live in the light.  I want to be forgiven when I am wrong or if I have betrayed someone.  I chose light.

St. Joseph's Day

 My daughter in law says that her grandma always said that it has to snow one more time after St Joseph day.  Something about St Joseph wearing a cloak of white.  I wasn't familiar with that lore.  I hope that perhaps this year St Joseph will forego the cloak.  Spring is well and truly started.  Snow isn't on my agenda this year.

Helping God Find Me

 A recent homily at my home parish included a reference to a book about the Prodigal Son.  The deacon talked about reframing questions about God to helping God find me.  It made me really think.  God surely knows where I am and what I am doing.  How could He need help in finding me?

But, the same though might be had about me looking for God.  I know where God is, who God is.  Why is it so hard to live my life sometimes?  Because I am a practical person who needs something to hold onto, I have concluded that for me, the way to help God find me or for me to find God is to pray as often as I possibly can remember to.  Bring God with me on my day. I would say that this is something I have always done to some extent, but I am aware in a deeper way that I need to make a concerted effort in this.  It seems if I do, my day, my life will go better.

The Ides of March

 I had ancient English teachers in high school.  They were very old school, if you will.  We didn't write much, but we memorized pieces of poems and plays.  One quote I remember from Julius Caesar by Shakespeare was---The Ides of March are come.  That is the way I remember it anyway.  The other quote from that play I remember was--The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves. There was a book and a play about kids with cancer that used part of that as a title.

But, back to the Ides of March.  The ides are the 15th of the month.  Every month has ides.  But Caesar was murdered in March on the ides, hence the quote.  Something about the middle of a month.  I am always ready for the next month by the time the ides arrives.  I am galloping away my time.

So, don't blame the ides and don't blame the stars.  The future is up to you!  And we are already halfway through Lent!

Ashes

 Time to consider that I am dust and to dust I will return.  Am I ready?  What do I still need to accomplish? This will be the first Ash Wednesday in a while that I will not be in church.  It feels weird.  It feels wrong.  But, I am so close to the finish line.  I should be able to get the vaccine soon.  I had hoped to be in church by Easter.  I am now anticipating Pentecost. Ashes.

Fat Tuesday

 A day to celebrate, Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras.  In the very olden days they would eat all the fat and rich foods before Lent started.  In England it was called Shrove Tuesday and they had pancakes. I am not sure what I will do.  I need to lose weight. Perhaps this is the day to prepare to start the weight loss journey again.

It is rather a shame it seems to me that in the world today the celebration takes place without any real intention of sacrifice for Lent for most of the celebrants.  They really miss out if they just have one more big party.  The parties never stop--Christmas, Super Bowl, Mardi Gras and on and on.  But, if life is just a party, where is the fun in that?

The gray and giving up of Lent helps to make the celebration of Easter all the more joyful.  Contrast is the thing.  Endless days and months of pleasure and richness don't really create happiness.  The tendency is just to want more and more.

This past year in the pandemic and all the pleasures denied or delayed, perhaps there will be some experience of the release and actual celebration from deprivation and desire to joy and fulfillment.  Perhaps. Anyway, happy Mardi Gras.