Monday, Monday

I have found that spending a lot of time at home, alone, I have less ideas for things to blog about.  Interacting with people makes me think more things. Some of the things I have written lately reflect that isolation and lack of thought.  Usually I like to have a point, not just a retelling of events.  I find that sometimes I don't have a point, or much of a point these days.  I have decided to keep on blogging. I will hope that as I try to get better more thoughts will come.  Stopping won't help my writing to improve.  I have experienced that already.

Mondays have become really good days for me.  After a lonely weekend, I look forward to the day with my grandson.  He is an adorable answer to prayer in so many ways.  He is not a big talker. This is worrisome, but I have concluded that he will probably talk when he is ready.  He says some words. He understands and communicates in lots of ways, but by the books he is delayed.  Playing with him is the best part of my week and Mondays are always fun.

Without the days I spend with my grandson, I am not sure what I would do.  I can't imagine being even more isolated than I already am. But, I have concluded that some of the down feelings that I am experiencing have to do with feeling out of control, as though there is nothing I can do.  So, I spent the day last Thursday thinking about things I can do to increase my connection with others.

So, on Monday it begins.  I am living this life.  I can't change my situation. I fear this virus and I think that isolation is still a safe plan.  But, connection is important too.  So, I plan to email, write letters, call and make as many connections with people as possible.  I plan to have a "lesson plan" for my day to accomplish the things I want to do. I am the CEO of my life.  That is what I am reminding myself.  God is in charge and has a plan, but I have to try to do His will, not sit in depression.  I am the CEO of my life.  There are things I am put here to do.  I will feel happy, whole and joy-filled if I am doing the work I was put here to do.

God knows about this pandemic.  My life is changed, not stopped by this situation.  I need to accept and adjust to the change.  If I keep shouting "why, why?" or "if only..." or "I planned..." I won't see the wonderful things in front of me.  Because there are wonderful, joyful things.  Life has changed, not stopped.