Rosemary

 My mother in law's name was Rosemary.  She has been gone for several years.  She had dementia the last many years of her life.  She was gone before I even entertained the idea of divorce, so she knew none of that.  Like most mother in law relationships, there were things about her that I liked and things I didn't.  I learned after she was gone that she didn't like the way her son treated me.  I never would have guessed that.

Rosemary had a tough life in many ways.  Her daddy died when she was very young.  Her mother scrambled to keep her kids.  Helen ended up marrying her dead husband's uncle who was recently widowed to keep house for him and to let her survive with her children not given away to an orphanage.  Then, as a very young woman, Rosemary married an older man who was already an alcoholic.  He didn't give her an easy life.  He did give her two children.  He died of cancer in his 50s and she was widowed.  She married again and moved to the South.

In some ways her second marriage was heaven.  Her husband spoiled her.  She didn't have to work.  He wasn't a drinker and he wasn't abusive.  But, he wasn't perfect and she brought with her all that had gone before in her life.  I knew her then and didn't find out about the rest until later, so I could never really understand why she was so unhappy when things were so rosy, Rose-y. 

Still, I always respected her, welcomed her. I was polite to her even when she danced on my last nerve. There were things I didn't know.  But, I will always remember that Oct. 16th was her birthday.  Happy Birthday, Rosemary.  I hope that you are dancing in Heaven.