I am considering closing the blog. I obviously don't get around to it often. I am writing other things in other places these days. I am playing with babies and reading stories. I have a life. While I can't strictly say I am too busy, I am having my need to reach out satisfied in other ways.
Another problem with blogging is, once I have been burned I find it hard to trust the safety of this medium. Something I wrote was used against me and not because I wrote bad things about someone, but because I wrote good. I fear persons reading and copying something I write to prove something about me. I am tired of anyone telling me who I am. While the attempt that was made against me ultimately failed, it stung. It made this not a safe place for me to put down honest feelings, honest facts. I am constantly looking over my shoulder. What did I say that someone could glean information or use against me?
My life is pretty good these days. I wasted a lot of years trying to make a mistake work out. When I finally let go, let God and admitted that I was powerless over someone else, I was able to find serenity and contentment. I started writing the blog because I was so lonely. These days I live alone, but I have never been as lonely and fearful as I used to be. The fact is, I don't need the blog like I once did.
I will continue my semi-occasional posting perhaps for a while, but when I don't feel free to say what is going on in my life, the blog seems a little hollow, a little absent. Now I ponder. What does it mean? What will it mean? Is enough, enough?
No comments:
Post a Comment