I am sitting here listening to the tree frogs singing to the setting sun. I love the wire-y chirp they make. Every night I hope it means they are eating a lot of bugs, especially the mosquitoes that frequent the neighborhood in late summer. Tree frogs keep to themselves. Or maybe they are toads, I never see them. I prefer to think frogs, fully rely on God. FROG.
I am trying to learn that, to fully rely on God. I can't really control anything. I have a certain impact with the decisions I make, but the big picture goes on according to God's plan. That gives me serenity and confidence that even if I make mistakes, God has my back so to speak.
As I listen to the incessant frogs, I wonder if I should have gone to the hospital today. I have a friend who may be a little closer to dieing than I am. She appears to be in the final act of her battle with cancer. It is hard to say whether she will once again rally and have some more borrowed time, or if she might slip away soon. Her time relies on God.
And sometimes I am good with that, and sometimes I am sad and frustrated and angry. I talk to God about that. He reminds me that there is a plan and He loves me, loves this friend, and He is there. He is here. I can no more stop what will happen than I could make all the tree frogs stop singing every night. Learn to accept and enjoy them, that is what I have learned. Offer the love I can to the friend and pray. Visit, laugh, do the things I can do. And fully rely on God.