I am so blessed to have my mom, all almost 96 years of her, still living and still functioning very well. Short term memory is a little iffy, but thought processes are pretty good considering her age. She still goes shopping every other week, I know, I take her to Aldi's, her preferred store. She has her hair done, keeps up her apartment and sees to 2 of her meals each day and her own medication and clothes washing, etc. Mom is a wonder.
But then that isn't surprising, she has always been a force of nature. Determined only begins to describe her. Self-determined might be closer. I didn't get along with Mom very well in my growing up years. Truth be told, I pretty much despised her throughout my teens and young adulthood. To me she seemed petty, selfish, critical, and hard to get along with. Looking back, I can see that we were similar in some ways and completely different in others, but both strong women. My mom raised strong women. After my dad died before I turned 30 I decided that the best way to honor him was to treat my mom with all the love and caring I had felt from my dad. My relationship with Mom grew stronger and I can even say that we grew to be friends.
If Mom wanted something, she didn't sit around and wait for someone to do it for her, she stirred around and planned it herself. That is how we ended up throwing her 80th and 90th birthday parties. They were big, lovely receptions with friends and relatives from far and near. When Mom turned 95 last year I suggested to some of the relatives that a card shower might be nice. Mom did get a lot of nice cards from an array of people. She never even guessed that I had prompted the shower of good wishes.
This year she turns 96. Every year when you get that old and have most of your wits about you is special. But, Mom lives in a new location miles and miles from where she lived most of her life. She has a handful of friends, but most of the other residents are strangers. But, my brothers are coming from afar. So, Mom has started to think we are giving her a party. She wants to get a "room" and plan something. In other words--wants me to plan something.
And truth be told, I don't want to. I am not sure Mom is up to it. I am sure that I am too busy (retiring, moving, concerned about a sick friend). Seeing the brothers and maybe the nieces will be enough. Enough! Mom is scheming and I am fearful that I am going to be roped into something that I really don't think anyone wants or needs.
The thing is I am the pushover and Mom can usually get me to do it her way. But, I have a secret weapon. My sister was the baby of the family. She can usually tell Mom "no" without making her mad. I have my sister on the case. Hopefully, we will have a nice family visit and not some awful reception with a line of strangers offering cards in exchange for a piece of cake......Mama drama, for sure.