Do you hear that haunting beautiful tune? It is just far enough away to be indistinct. Lovely enough to leave me in awe, wanting to hear more. For me that is the voice of God, that whisper, that tune, that certain voice. I credit that to the Franciscan heritage of the diocese I grew up in. My discernment is rooted in that melody of life, that whisper from God.
Sometimes I wish that that tune was louder, because I claim that sometimes I can't hear it. But, I am learning, have learned, know in my heart, that when I can't hear the melody it is because I am going a different way. My will and not His Will is how I would express it.
Lately I have found my way back to hearing that tune. I am making better choices and feel happier and more serene. How did I get back to that place after wandering in the desert for a lot of years? Rejoicing, praising and thanking God were the main vehicles that got me back. Like a rusty set of wheels, it was hard to thank in the midst of trials. It was hard to trust and not to panic and be filled with anxiety.
But, like rusty wheels or to go back to the music metaphor, like learning to play an unfamiliar tune, it got easier with time. Easier and easier until I could hear with certainty the voice of God, the call in my life.
Today when a little piece of fear or worry about the future is nagging at the edges of my mind, I change the channel and find that hauntingly beautiful tune that is God's call in my life. And I thank Him that He has got that. There is a plan and I don't need the road map, I just need to trust.