This past weekend I threw in the towel. I tried hard to find the supports for the shelves that I want to set up in the garage for the Christmas decorations and tree. I tried and I failed. I have concluded that St. Anthony is tired of me asking and in God's plan for my life, this just isn't to be. For now. So, I moved it all to the garage, not on shelves. It makes the garage look more a jumble than it did before, but my living space feels better. And in the grand scheme of things, which is more important? The house.
I have concluded that it is really important for me to bring some calm and order to my life. I don't do well with sustained and unremitting chaos. Who does? I am trying to clean up my act. When everything looks neater, I don't feel so overwhelmed. I am unproductive.
The never-ending pounding of one more urgent thing to do is just that, never ending. I have to learn to schedule some "me" things in there and not make taxes and bill paying and on and on the only things I accomplish in my life.
At the end of this first month of the new year I am ready to wipe my slate clean and work on becoming the person I am called to be. The whole person who lives in the present, not the past or future. I resolve to become completely myself this year. The very best version of myself.