I like to spend money. I enjoy hunting for things I want and need. I am very privileged in my first world life to have that pleasure. I have more than I need. Not as much as I want, but more than I need for sure. I learned in my past life to be a saver, to not need new shiny things all the time. Most of the things I buy have some practical use.
Recently, I had to divide my assets with another person. That person claimed to love me. The state required a 50-50 split. I recognized that the claim of love was not unconditional love. I recognized it from the first of our relationship. I thought I could change that. I have learned that the only one I can change is myself. It was a crazy dream to think I could make someone love me.
Anyway, the 50-50 split gave way to demands for more and more money. I admit I was angry about this. We had a gentleman's agreement and it was tossed aside at the last minute to do what from my view was extort more money from me. I considered fighting it, but what came to me is--I like to spend money, but I don't love money. I don't need all the money I have coming to me. I can make do with less.
What was made abdundantly clear to me is this--I was never loved by this person. It was all about the money. While that makes me sad, because I would have liked to have been loved, it frees me to move on and know that I did the right thing for me. I hear the Lord whisper to me--You are loved, you are treasured, you deserve to be loved, not the money. I wasn't planning to take the money to heaven with me anyway.
And there is this--the love of money is the root of all evil. Note that it isn't the money itself, it is where the heart lies. It is about what you love.