Sunday, October 30, 2016

Say Something

I am not a person who ever thinks that I have a moral imperative to tell other people how to live their lives or that what they are doing is wrong or mistaken or sinful.  I have thoughts sometimes, but I have mostly, I hope, kept such thoughts to myself.  I can't imagine going up to a person and saying something, a judging something, about their life.  Who am I to know all the secrets inside their brain? What gives me the moral high ground to know better for them?

But, I can tell you from experience, not everyone operates within these boundaries.  I have had occasions where people have come up to me, not close friends, usually acquaintances, and have given their opinion or asked a personal question about something in my life.  These "say something" or "ask something" folks were never spot on.  They never really knew my side of the story or even had the right to know.

But, perhaps they achieved their objective because the thing they said or asked hurt.  I always want to defend myself, explain.  This is perhaps because I am a people pleaser.  I am an oldest child, not a middle, and one would think I could have a thicker skin, but, fact is, I don't.  I hurt.  I am trying oh so hard not to explain, not to respond.  My counselor has suggested saying something like--Your opinion is none of my business.  I haven't said it yet, but I have thought it.

So, on this cloudy Sunday afternoon, I thought I would put it out there, when you think you might need to "say something" to someone about their behavior, ask yourself if you are directly affected by their behavior.  Because if you aren't, you don't need to say anything, you need to show God's love and mercy if possible, and walk away without hurting someone if you can't.

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