Monday, February 8, 2016

I Was Lost

I isolated myself for many years.  I was living a life in which I found that I couldn't relate to the experiences of other people.  Either they weren't honest, or my life was not going as well as most other people's lives seemed to be.  When people talked about events and emotions that didn't match my own experience in any way it is easier to isolate.  I gave the impression I had a happy marriage, lots of friends, family that I was close to, and interests.  In all honesty, my marriage was miserable on my end of things, I had acquaintances, but hardly any friends.  Those I did have got scared away when they witnessed events in my life.  They kept distance between us.  And maybe I was a little too clingy sometimes because I so longed for someone to talk to.  I was a mover and shaker in my family, but my siblings were sometimes uncomfortable with my marriage.  I quilted and crocheted and was interested in history.  But, I came to hardly know what my favorite color was or what I would really like to do on a free Saturday.

God called me to freedom, to love, to trust, to life, not death.  He set the captive free. Or He is working a new thing in me and freedom is in front of me.  This freedom is not a call to live a sinful selfish life.  This call is to bring joy and love and hope into the world.  He has made all things new. The first among those is me.

One of the discoveries I have made is--isolation is not good.  When I am not forcing myself to pretend that my life is not something that it isn't, when I am acting in a whole and authentic matter, I have people in my life.   It is not good for man to be alone.  It is not good to isolate.  How can I spread the Good News in an empty room?

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