I have written a lot about the painful aspects of my life lately, and I don't feel that this is giving a fair representation of the life I am living now. I don't want to pretend that things are easy or I don't have moments of discouragement, I do. But, I have found a lot of happiness and serenity in the midst of the turmoil. I have strength I didn't even realize.
My life is essentially happy because I am free to express love to my family, to nurture friendships, to decide some things for myself and even make mistakes without criticism or blame. I was venting about an unfolding situation at my counselor's office a short while back. She encouraged me at expressing my anger and horror at the events that someone else was directing. She indicated that she had not seen me do that enough times. I didn't tell her then, but perhaps I will next time, I do a lot of venting here and in personal journals. I have learned the value of expressing the anger I am feeling. Not, so that other people can help me, although sometimes they have, but rather so that I don't stuff it down and start feeling as though I deserved the thing that made me angry.
And having expressed my upset feelings, I am free to dwell on the lovely, right and beautiful in my life. I am warm and have everything I need. I have more than I need. I have some lovely and generous people in my life. And there are sunrises and hawks and eagles if I just drive over the river road soon. And I feel that these gifts, so numerous to be named are the bountiful gifts from my loving heavenly Father who has new love and gifts to give every single morning and all through the night.