I told my spiritual director the other day that the Advent police were going to come and arrest me and we had a good laugh about that. I have been listening to Christmas music on CDs in my car during the whole of Advent this year. While I love myself some good O Come, O Come, Emmanuel, I really do, this year I needed to hear White Christmas and Away in the Manger in advance of the feast day.
It is a permission thing with me. Allowing God to tell me what I need and not be so much rigid rule follower. I had a 4 CD set of random Christmas themed music from the 40s and 50s and maybe a little 60s, but nothing modern. It ranges from Frosty the Snowman to Ave Maria and that is exactly what I need this year. Exactly.
I am working at getting in touch with myself, the good, the bad, the ugly. I am celebrating my past and my present and hoping for a future that includes heaven at the end, but maybe also some joy in the living.
I don't think the Advent police are going to get me this year. I am preparing for the birth of Christ in my heart yet again. I am acknowledging that He is already here and remains and will come. It is a mystery and a miracle. Whether there is a white or green Christmas this year, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas in my heart.