I feel an empty place where the script change was in my life. Maybe where the script changes are, would be a better way to put it. In my life I would be the mother of lots of children and grandchildren by this time. I would be both beautiful and talented and also smart. And thin.
Certainly, I wouldn't be losing my vision and having aching feet everyday. I wouldn't be shy and tongue-tied. I wouldn't have lost my dad so young. I would have traveled more and I would have a dog. Or dogs.
And when I get in the middle of of a great big old pity party I can start feeling like I wasn't beloved of God. That I didn't get my fair share. That life is pretty crappy sometimes (excuse my French).
But, I have learned and I know and I believe and most of the time I feel it that the empty places are places that God can fill me with His mercy and love. The ache I have is an ache for God, for the perfection of Heaven.
When I invite Him in, God fills the empty places and teaches me about going with the flow of the script changes. Because there is a script and I have a very important part in it. If I keep looking for things that aren't there, I will miss the wonderful things that I have.
But, maybe getting a dog wouldn't be a bad idea....