Monday, August 25, 2014

Go Sit On Your Hands

I took a needed bloggy break this summer.  I hated to do it, but I enjoyed my time off.  I have gained new insights and perspective on my life on-line.  It is great to be back.  Many times this summer I had to say to myself, "Go sit on your hands!"  And I did.  I successfully stayed off of the blog except for the give-away, which was an eye-opener in and of itself.  And my sycamore tutorial blog stats just kept rolling in.

At the time I took the bloggy break it was apparent to me that my niece was not going to ask her parents to be present at her wedding which took place in a Catholic church somewhere in Ohio.  It was heart-breaking and sorrowful in ways I didn't even anticipate.  This is a rip in the fabric of my family.  Someday I hope it will be mended, but the ugly rip will be there.  I find consolation in that sometimes mending is stronger than the original fabric was.  That impending wedding was one reason I abandoned blogging because I was just angry and sad and upset.  These are never good emotions to convey over the world wide web.

This summer I worked on researching family history, specifically the lives and times of my great-grandparents.  I had a lot to say about Kansas and Oklahoma in 1875 and 1876.  Not too much of that fits within the scope of this blog.  I spent an hour most days in the public library reading and researching the Cheyenne Arapaho tribes and the transition to reservation life.  My sister and I are writing a book.  Even if it never gets completed, it was an interesting summer of visiting the past.

After planning to go to the Holy Land for my 60th year and then scaling back to New York City and then abandoning both plans, my husband and I went to Kansas City for a few days.  As a person who loves to travel and is enlivened by travel, it was a sad summer for me.  I need to plan harder and make my dreams come true in the travel department.  It is not just going to happen without more attention from me.

I continue to deal with the problems presented by an elderly mother (93) who lives more than 100 miles north.  I am trying to appreciate the person she is and not focus on the problems, but sometimes that is overwhelming.  She has had a good summer, but the decline of her mind continues. She still drives, still cooks for herself and lives on her own, but has admitted that she forgets to eat or what day it is.  She is having surgery in a couple of weeks (carpal tunnel) and I will be up there for that.  My sister is picking up some of the slack in the doctor visit arena.

There are other things that were happening, that are happening that have contributed to my absence from this blog.  But, I have taken a break and it is over.  I have gotten some perspective.  I can see that if I don't blog everyday, no animals are harmed, no one dies.  I don't even get fired.  So, while I am back, I may occasionally take a day or a week off.  I have missed the blogging.  I have gotten lazy in my mind.  I look forward to sharpening up, to having things to say, to proclaiming the gospel with my life to the best of my ability.

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