Saturday, May 3, 2014

Quilter and Mission

I am 60 and I no longer hope for another baby.  Seriously, it would kill me to go through all of that.  But it hasn't always been that way.  For many younger years I went through fertility treatments or various kinds and then had an ectopic pregnancy (after begging a doctor to check my tubes and he gave me the zebra story).

After that I pouted.  It was what I had to do for a while.  I couldn't go to baby showers or be around other people's babies.  I avoided the baby subject altogether whenever possible.  I just didn't do babies.  I cried secretly over baby ads and stories about pregnancies and "miracle babies."

Then, after losing a wife to breast cancer and marrying a younger woman, my brother had a baby.  I was a Godmother.  I made her a baby quilt.  I was "into" babies again.  I longed to be a grandmother.  I talked to other grandmothers.  I had enjoyed making that baby quilt.  So, I made another.

Making baby quilts at first felt like practice for the "real" thing which was a grandchild of my own. At first I despaired that I would make all of these quilts and they would pile up in my house and no babies would ever come to use them.  So, I prayed to God to send me some babies.  For these quilts.  And ever faithful, He did.  It seems like I no sooner finish or lately start a quilt when a baby appears who needs one.

I learned something about me.  I love to pray for babies.  I love to use fabric and make little pieces of art that I call baby quilts.  I love to give them away.  I don't ever need to see or hold these babies.  Praying for them is enough.  I haven't given up that someday grandchild.  He or she may appear someday.  But, that isn't the only reason I make baby quilts.

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