Saturday, May 17, 2014

Mother's Day Reverberations

How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is
To have a thankless child.  King Lear
I am grateful to say that I am not King Lear.  I have a wonderful child who bought me a lovely planter of flowers and took me to my favorite restaurant for Mother's Day.  He is a good son.  Perhaps he has learned by example, because I went up to see my mom on Mother's Day, bought her chocolates and took her to her favorite restaurant and vacuumed and cleaned under her bed for her....but I digress.  I am grateful not to be King Lear.
I have a family member who has a daughter who is that sharper than a serpent's tooth.  This girl has cut her parents out of her life for ten years and now plans to marry in a fancy ceremony in a large Catholic church in the state of Ohio this summer without inviting her parents.  She somehow thinks that her parent's siblings and her grandmother will attend this wedding when she is treating her parents this way.  As one of the siblings, I have to say, we won't.
This has caused tears and upset within the family.  Everyone is trying to be loving and forgiving of this girl without condoning her actions.  But, skating that line is hard to do.  The grandma got into it with her on her Mother's Day phone call by telling her she should invite her parents to her wedding and without that, none of us would come to it.  Shouting ensued and the grandma hung up.  And then grandma called me.
The grandma isn't Catholic and I am, so she wanted me to explain the grand-daughter who was claiming that she didn't have to forgive her parents or invite them to her wedding because it was HER wedding and she didn't want anything to spoil it.  This girl claimed that in her church, the Catholic church, her actions were perfectly fine because she prayed and went to Mass.  It was fine that she was living with her boyfriend before marriage.  My mom was upset and asking me to explain this. 
So, how do I explain this? Lies? The influence of Satan, the great deceiver, the father of lies.  The influence of the world and the culture that creates Bridezillas?  Moral relativism? I told Mom to be happy that she was honest and courageous with this girl and to try to forget about it so that she could sleep.  Mom is 92  and has high blood pressure.  She doesn't need that kind of upset in her life.
I am happy not to be King Lear.  I am sorry about this ungrateful child who has swallowed in the world so fully that she doesn't know truth and kindness and forgiveness.  I pray for her.  I really pray for them all, for us all, the family hurt by the actions of one member.

And I have to add that when Grandma hung up it caused the girl to do something that she hasn't done in a long, long time.  She called her parents.  The parents hope that maybe healing can begin.  I have been praying on this issue for years.  I am praying harder.  God has a plan.

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