It is like traveling down the highway and out of nowhere a cop appears and pulls me over and says, "Do you know how fast you were going?" And I answer, "What, no, officer. I didn't notice how fast I was going." "You were going 60 in a 30 mph zone." It is like that.
This year I have had to limp along on my bad left foot. It is stopping me from living the way I want to live. And all the things I still imagined I might do? Like white water rafting or climbing the Empire State building via the stairs or running a 5k are over. Not going to happen. Sit and quilt like an old lady is what the bad inner voice I hear says. Give up and be happy with that.
Somewhere between zero and sixty there has to be a compromise. I have to find a happy medium. There may not be a cure, but I need to push for the best I can be. Easy to say, but hard today while my foot screams in pain at me. I ponder whether I should find a new doctor and push for surgery. That might cripple me completely. Or should I give the exercises more time? Or go back for the shot in my heel? I am praying about that. I feel that I have been given bad answers and incomplete solutions so far. Where should I turn?
It is not easy going 60 when I feel like I should somehow still be 30. Where did the years go? Where will they lead? I am praying a prayer for serenity and trust. God has my life mapped out. I just need to follow where He is leading me.