Saturday, March 15, 2014

Zero to Sixty

It is like traveling down the highway and out of nowhere a cop appears and pulls me over and says, "Do you know how fast you were going?"  And I answer, "What, no, officer.  I didn't notice how fast I was going."  "You were going 60 in a 30 mph zone."  It is like that.

This year I have had to limp along on my bad left foot.  It is stopping me from living the way I want to live.  And all the things I still imagined I might do?  Like white water rafting or climbing the Empire State building via the stairs or running a 5k are over.  Not going to happen.  Sit and quilt like an old lady is what the bad inner voice I hear says.  Give up and be happy with that.

Somewhere between zero and sixty there has to be a compromise.  I have to find a happy medium.  There may not be a cure, but I need to push for the best I can be.  Easy to say, but hard today while my foot screams in pain at me.  I ponder whether I should find a new doctor and push for surgery.  That might cripple me completely.  Or should I give the exercises more time?  Or go back for the shot in my heel?  I am praying about that.  I feel that I have been given bad answers and incomplete solutions so far.  Where should I turn?

It is not easy going 60 when I feel like I should somehow still be 30.  Where did the years go?  Where will they lead?  I am praying a prayer for serenity and trust.  God has my life mapped out.  I just need to follow where He is leading me.

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