Saturday, February 22, 2014

Cracks

Various times in my life I have thought that things were as tough as they were ever going to get.  I have hoped for the time when the trials would be over and things would be smooth sailing.  It seemed as though that is the way life should be, right?  Trials and then calm and then maybe some more trials.  But, I thought with each trial I would be stronger and smarter and more knowledgeable, better able to handle the challenge.

For example, the secondary infertility that I went through and then the loss of that second baby to an ectopic pregnancy seemed about as hard as it could get.  It took me a long time to recover from that.  Sometimes, I wonder if I am still completely recovered.  I still have the cracks that those events created in my confidence and my ability to trust other people.  Probably worse even than the baby loss were the people who chose not to help me when I was in the greatest need in my life.  It still stings.  The lesson I learned was to try not to be that person who walks by.  I try to be the good Samaritan to the best of my ability.

Recently, a crack developed in a window in my library.  It is a settling crack.  Probably caused by those pesky earthquakes in Oklahoma.  It started small and it has gotten bigger daily.  There will be no repair to that glass.  It is done.  A new window glass will have to be put there.  It may not match.  The window might always be a little different from the others.  There is no way of knowing that yet.

What does the window have to do with my reflection on trials?  I see that hard times like that crack in the window.  The crack seems to keep growing.  The trials don't go away.  The sailing never gets completely smooth.  But, it can be fixed.  It might never be the same.  It might not turn out the way I wanted it to, but through prayer, help from others and time, I can return to the smooth road.

They came out and measured the window in my library to replace the cracked window.  The men assured me that the window was safe, it wouldn't fall out, but it would be replaced.  I need to move forward and work on those crack in my life.

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