Dr. Doolittle had a llama-like animal called a pushmepullyou that had heads on both sides. I forget the particulars, but I remember that it was very hard to move forward unless both heads were in agreement. That animal came to me as I was considering some situations in my life.
There are some people having difficulty with forgiveness and loving as Jesus loved. I won't get into particulars and I recognized that as I contemplated the situation, I was guilty and troubled by those things as the people who came to my mind.
The problem, as I see it with lack of forgiveness and lack of love is that both parties miss out on loving and experiencing love as Jesus loves us, as Jesus wants us to love. Jesus loves me just as I am, warts, fat, and all. Jesus wouldn't love me more if I became beautiful or more loving or anything. He loves me totally and completely. Right now. And forever.
That is the pushmepullyou part of it. I need to love them even when they are doing wrong. Even when they are not loving and forgiving me as they should, I am called to love. They also really need to do those things, the loving and forgiving. But, the only one I have control over is me. The loving part and standing my ground is the part I have to pray about. Until we figure it out, we are a pushmepullyou stuck in the same place. In this situation it seems to me that the best thing to do is pray.