Thursday, June 3, 2010

Over and Over

"...and hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit."  That's from Romans 5:5 in case you don't read my blog title.  And for me that is the tricky part, that love that is poured out into our hearts.  Sometimes I don't recognize it.  And so many times I have trouble reflecting it out.  I have the hope, but as much love as I have been given, I have not been able to receive. When I can't receive it, I can't reflect it.

This is the third blog post I have written for this day.  I have tried to write about some things that have happened in love and I have managed to write admonishment, defense, criticism, sarcasm, anger and lots of other emotions, but when I reread the whole thing, what I am missing is the love. So you won't be reading those other posts I wrote for today.

This is the terrible, awful, joyful truth, it doesn't really matter what the circumstances are or what happened exactly and what I feel about it and who said what to whom.  It doesn't matter.  I am called to love.  And I have received so much love from God through the Holy Spirit that I know, I know, in my heart that I am called to love, no matter what.  I trust God to see me through, just as He always has.  And the thing I am called to do isn't admonish or explain myself, or defend, or anything.  I am called only to love.

So, I do.  I love.  I am trying with every ounce of strength and all the blessings I have received to only put on love.  But I am not saying that it is easy, or that I can do it perfectly yet.  But, love is what I am called to do.  Love. It has been poured into my heart through the Holy Spirit which I have received. Love. Nothing else matters but the love.

6 comments:

Jen said...

From this morning's Gospel (Mark): we are to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength... and our neighbors as ourselves.

Simple enough... but not easy at all.

And, we keep on trying all the same.

Mary333 said...

This is so beautiful!

Mary said...

Thanks, ladies, for the encouragement. I get so angry with myself that I can't seem to get it right. But, I keep trying. Keep it loving, that is what I have to keep reminding myself. I am an unfinished Christian for sure.

Tami said...

Mary, Did a little birdie tell you that I specifically needed to read this today? What struck me most was the need to justify. So many times that is where I get stuck, in trying to justify why it is hard to love. But like you said, we are not called to explain. Simply to love. Thank you yet again for helping me dig a bit deeper.

Mary said...

Tami, it was for me I wrote this. I needed to tell myself this. I am glad that it helped you too.

Dawn by Design said...

Oh, wow, Mary. ((hugs)) And yes, to all of it.