I changed it up and went up to visit with my mom on Friday night coming home on Saturday. On the one hand it makes for a long Friday to work all day, come home and pack, drive 115 miles in the dark and then talk to Mom until bedtime. But, coming home on Saturday and having Sunday and Monday to catch up on chores and spend with my hubby made it worth it.
I discovered that something else made it worth it. I offered to go shopping for Mom or to take her shopping on Saturday and she took me up on it. She wanted a new pair of shoes. She wanted brown "ballerina flats" (I would probably call them brown MaryJanes, with a strap, you know the kind).
Mom is 91 and she knows her limitations. She wanted to go to only one place, not several. She picked an expensive store that carries SAS and Clarkes and Birks. (Myself having 9.5 wide feet and having been through 2 different podiatrists for problems with each of my feet, I am acquainted with such pricey establishments.) My mom had never spent over $100 on shoes. She ended up spending $134 on the shoes which were exactly the kind she described. But, I am not sure that she will ever get over having paid so much for one pair of shoes.
Having spent all the money in her wallet, Mom wanted to go home. I persuaded her to take a ride out into the country to the little town we had lived in when I was growing up. We drove through the gravel roads and blacktopped lanes. We viewed where the old church had been. We talked about neighbors and old times and the kids she taught for so many years in the 5th grade. It was a good visit.
I have come to realize that my mom is not really starting Alzheimers yet. I am sure that she knows what day it is and how to draw a clock face. But, because she lets herself get dehydrated and because she allows herself to be isolated, she is becoming duller. Her short term memory is declining, for sure, but she is still able to think and plan and do most of the things she wants to in life.
It was a happy visit with Mom on Saturday.