Scatter Brain

Most of the time I am over scheduled and not planned far enough ahead.  I fly by the seat of my pants or hold on my the skin of my teeth.  I am busy.  Often I think of some thoughtful gesture or polite thing only after it is too late to even think of such things.  At least I am usually on time.  Sometimes though I feel like a scatter brain.

This rush and hurried feeling is especially present during the holidays.  Who among us doesn't have too much to do?  Who accomplishes every plan and thanks each and every person who might be owed their thanks during the holiday season?  Certainly not me. This year though, I was a little calmer and seemed to have a little bit more control over the chaos.  I need to credit God's grace for this, rather than anything that I did.  But, this year was a little better than some.

I was so caught up with things that on the Wednesday I got out of school I baked a coffee cake for a lady with whom I had an appointment the next morning.  I even thought ahead to have a tray she didn't need to return and red wrap and a signed Christmas card.  I was together.  I could only imagine the delight in presenting my gift and having a nice chat with this person. I really had it together.

I showed up on time for the appointment, not a half hour early as I sometimes do.  On time with 5 minutes to spare, I might add.  The lady I was scheduled to meet with was in a meeting.  I sat and chatted with the secretary. And chatted and chatted and chatted.  Finally, an hour and a half later, the secretary tried to call though to my appointment lady.  There was no answer and the secretary thought that perhaps they had used the back door and gone out to lunch. So I left my gift and card and went home.

This is the point where I might have been really unhappy and felt very bad or maybe I might even have been angry.  Instead, I waited.  I asked God what I was supposed to learn from the situation.  The answer was humility.  I should neither judge and berate myself for the times when I was stressed and didn't manage things as well as I hoped, nor especially should I feel proud and puffed up when I had it together.  This lesson was especially true because even more than missing the appointment, I was sorry not to be able to present the coffee cake and be thanked for it.

On Friday an email came with an apology and a thanks for the cake.  It had been a mix up and we are rescheduled for January.  I learned from this to be humble.  Being humble also involves forgiving myself and others for the times when I am too busy or preoccupied or make a mistake.  Things happen.  I need not to call myself a scatter brain.